This is not my family....
Letter to my children and grandchildren.....To understand my own life, and yours, you have to start with my parents and their parents.
Papaw and Grammy got married in 1958. My dad did a brief stint in the Navy (the ROTC scholarship) and was stationed for a while in Japan and Norfolk, Va. By the time I was born in 1960, my parents lived in a mid-century modern house in Richardson, near Texas Instruments, where my dad worked. At some point he was transferred to St Petersburg, Fl for a year or two when I was a baby, bc they used to tell a funny (to them) story about my Granny Ruby getting all panicky at the thought of me leaving, certain that an alligator would come up out of the bayou, into the house and eat me. I think she demanded on going along, and living with them, so she could take care of me. (As a child, I thought nothing of this anecdote, but as an adult, it makes me wonder......) During this time we had a dog, a fawn boxer named Ilsa.
I don't think there are any pix of me as a baby in Fl, so it must not have been for too long. At some point my parents came back to Richardson and the same 60's style ranch house. All my baby and childhood pix to age 5 are from that first house in Richardson. I remember little from that time .....I do remember the day Kennedy died, from a child's perspective: I was playing on the floor (still remember the linoleum pattern), my mom was ironing, the tv was on, Grammy was crying, ironing and crying. Everyone on tv was dressed in black, very somber. That may actually be the broadcast of JFK's funeral, not his assassination.
My sister K was born in 1964, when I was 3. My parents sent me to stay with my granny Ruby for a couple of weeks during and after the birth. It was during this time that I grew really close to Ruby. I remember walking from her house to the square (her town, SS, was kind of like the mythical town in To Kill A Mockingbird) along old sidewalks rutted with tree roots from giant trees. We passed all these really old 2 story Victorian style white wood houses with ancient people sitting on the porch in rocking chairs, stopping to chat w them as we went by. Once in "town", we shopped at old stores with fly-specked windows, wood floors, and high ceilings. Had lunch at a pharmacy lunch counter - the kind of place that served grilled cheese sandwiches and malts. Granny Ruby let me sleep on a fold-out wood army cot that she said was from WWI; it had a thin little mattress that was actually comfortable. I remember taking long cool baths in her beautiful turquoise tiled bathroom.
As soon as my sister K could walk and talk, we did not get along. She figured out by the time she was 2 how to manipulate my mom.....she'd pitch fits and scream and cry and kick and refuse to eat unless mom fixed her favorite foods (the same 3 meals over and over, my whole life); she figured out she could slap herself really hard, run show my mom the welt/handprint, tell my mom I hit her, and I'd get punished. I'd be sitting in time out after having been spanked, and K would show up, just out of view, and stick her tongue out at me and laugh. If I tried to tell mom all this, she'd just sigh and say, "Well, ......." And do nothing. When it came time for me to go to school, mom decided to put K in pre-school, but she didn't want to go. Off to school I'd go (walking- no one got rides back in the day once they were 6 years old) and my mom would drive K to pre-school, a few blocks away. I'd come home from school at the end of the day, and K would have a new toy. Every. Single. Day. When I asked mom about this, she'd tell me that K pitched a fit, crying and carrying on, refusing to go to preschool until she (my mom) bought her a toy (and some ice-cream) to bribe her to go. K confirmed all this - she'd run show me the toy and tell me every day, when I came in the door, all about it. Laughing. It was great sport for her. When I'd tell my mom this, she sigh and say, "Well...."
By the time I started first grade, we moved to a new, bigger house, in a ritzier neighborhood, a few blocks away. Built in 1966, it had wood panelling, brick floors, built-ins (a built-in is like any piece of furniture that is built in as part of the house - book cases, hutches, desks, shelves, drawers, cabinets, etc.)It took the builders longer than expected to build it, and bc my parents sold the old house before the new one was finished, we lived for a few months in a crappy run-down apartment somewhere. We had a dog at the time, a wire-haired fox terrier named Corky, that my parents asked granny Ruby to take care of (no dogs allowed in the apt) . As soon as we dropped the dog off at granny's house, it ran after our car as we were leaving, and got hit by another car and died. It was very traumatic - and why, to this day, I don't like leaving dogs behind.
My parents must have had an influx of serious cash at this time....I don't know if papaw got a raise, an inheritance - I suspect granny Ruby gave them a significant amount of cash to buy the 2nd house and decorate it, too. As soon as we moved in, Grammy hired a decorator and bought a lot of expensive, upscale furniture for the living room . She selected an expensive oriental rug, chairs, a sofa, tables and lamps, art. I remember grammy got into a big argument with the builder over the brick flooring- wasn't the right kind of brick. In spite of all this money spent on certain aspects, grammy also had some weird clashing ideas and priorities- the house itself was supposed to be New Orleans style (they sent off to New Orleans for a lot of expensive hand-made wrought iron railing to put along a wide front porch, and a gate in the back) and the decorator selected furniture for the living room in a "French" style......then Grammy went and bought a dining room set that was English and didn't match. I tell you all this to make several points : In spite of the buying spree for parts of the house that showed - the front parlor - Grammy never bought den/family room furniture, bedroom sets, or any other furniture for any other room in the entire house. My entire life growing up, we lived in that house and never had a sofa to sit on and relax together in the den and watch tv. She would never let us use the living room - and she never entertained, bc she was so reclusive - and when she moved out of that house 20 years later, the living room furniture was pristine, only dusty bc she never cleaned . Even the lamps still had their cellophane wrappers on them. Growing up, I slept on grammy's childhood bed and my sister Kris slept on a mattress + box springs on the floor, as did my parents. The kitchen table, a desk and other odds and ends were taken from granny Ruby's house.....our home was largely empty and often echo-ed - bc there were no rugs, only brick and wood floors. At the time, this was the only "normal" I knew; it wasn't till I got older and went over to play with other kids that I saw normal families living in normal homes full of normal furniture that they were allowed to sit on.
I don't think there are any pix of me as a baby in Fl, so it must not have been for too long. At some point my parents came back to Richardson and the same 60's style ranch house. All my baby and childhood pix to age 5 are from that first house in Richardson. I remember little from that time .....I do remember the day Kennedy died, from a child's perspective: I was playing on the floor (still remember the linoleum pattern), my mom was ironing, the tv was on, Grammy was crying, ironing and crying. Everyone on tv was dressed in black, very somber. That may actually be the broadcast of JFK's funeral, not his assassination.
My sister K was born in 1964, when I was 3. My parents sent me to stay with my granny Ruby for a couple of weeks during and after the birth. It was during this time that I grew really close to Ruby. I remember walking from her house to the square (her town, SS, was kind of like the mythical town in To Kill A Mockingbird) along old sidewalks rutted with tree roots from giant trees. We passed all these really old 2 story Victorian style white wood houses with ancient people sitting on the porch in rocking chairs, stopping to chat w them as we went by. Once in "town", we shopped at old stores with fly-specked windows, wood floors, and high ceilings. Had lunch at a pharmacy lunch counter - the kind of place that served grilled cheese sandwiches and malts. Granny Ruby let me sleep on a fold-out wood army cot that she said was from WWI; it had a thin little mattress that was actually comfortable. I remember taking long cool baths in her beautiful turquoise tiled bathroom.
As soon as my sister K could walk and talk, we did not get along. She figured out by the time she was 2 how to manipulate my mom.....she'd pitch fits and scream and cry and kick and refuse to eat unless mom fixed her favorite foods (the same 3 meals over and over, my whole life); she figured out she could slap herself really hard, run show my mom the welt/handprint, tell my mom I hit her, and I'd get punished. I'd be sitting in time out after having been spanked, and K would show up, just out of view, and stick her tongue out at me and laugh. If I tried to tell mom all this, she'd just sigh and say, "Well, ......." And do nothing. When it came time for me to go to school, mom decided to put K in pre-school, but she didn't want to go. Off to school I'd go (walking- no one got rides back in the day once they were 6 years old) and my mom would drive K to pre-school, a few blocks away. I'd come home from school at the end of the day, and K would have a new toy. Every. Single. Day. When I asked mom about this, she'd tell me that K pitched a fit, crying and carrying on, refusing to go to preschool until she (my mom) bought her a toy (and some ice-cream) to bribe her to go. K confirmed all this - she'd run show me the toy and tell me every day, when I came in the door, all about it. Laughing. It was great sport for her. When I'd tell my mom this, she sigh and say, "Well...."
By the time I started first grade, we moved to a new, bigger house, in a ritzier neighborhood, a few blocks away. Built in 1966, it had wood panelling, brick floors, built-ins (a built-in is like any piece of furniture that is built in as part of the house - book cases, hutches, desks, shelves, drawers, cabinets, etc.)It took the builders longer than expected to build it, and bc my parents sold the old house before the new one was finished, we lived for a few months in a crappy run-down apartment somewhere. We had a dog at the time, a wire-haired fox terrier named Corky, that my parents asked granny Ruby to take care of (no dogs allowed in the apt) . As soon as we dropped the dog off at granny's house, it ran after our car as we were leaving, and got hit by another car and died. It was very traumatic - and why, to this day, I don't like leaving dogs behind.
My parents must have had an influx of serious cash at this time....I don't know if papaw got a raise, an inheritance - I suspect granny Ruby gave them a significant amount of cash to buy the 2nd house and decorate it, too. As soon as we moved in, Grammy hired a decorator and bought a lot of expensive, upscale furniture for the living room . She selected an expensive oriental rug, chairs, a sofa, tables and lamps, art. I remember grammy got into a big argument with the builder over the brick flooring- wasn't the right kind of brick. In spite of all this money spent on certain aspects, grammy also had some weird clashing ideas and priorities- the house itself was supposed to be New Orleans style (they sent off to New Orleans for a lot of expensive hand-made wrought iron railing to put along a wide front porch, and a gate in the back) and the decorator selected furniture for the living room in a "French" style......then Grammy went and bought a dining room set that was English and didn't match. I tell you all this to make several points : In spite of the buying spree for parts of the house that showed - the front parlor - Grammy never bought den/family room furniture, bedroom sets, or any other furniture for any other room in the entire house. My entire life growing up, we lived in that house and never had a sofa to sit on and relax together in the den and watch tv. She would never let us use the living room - and she never entertained, bc she was so reclusive - and when she moved out of that house 20 years later, the living room furniture was pristine, only dusty bc she never cleaned . Even the lamps still had their cellophane wrappers on them. Growing up, I slept on grammy's childhood bed and my sister Kris slept on a mattress + box springs on the floor, as did my parents. The kitchen table, a desk and other odds and ends were taken from granny Ruby's house.....our home was largely empty and often echo-ed - bc there were no rugs, only brick and wood floors. At the time, this was the only "normal" I knew; it wasn't till I got older and went over to play with other kids that I saw normal families living in normal homes full of normal furniture that they were allowed to sit on.
The greatest fight I ever had with grammy was went I went off to college - I took one of my paychecks and bought some towels, sheets, and stuff for the dorm. Grammy was furious with me - all my life, we had been sharing 2 towels for 4 people that had belonged to my dad when he was in the military. These towels were small, worn thin (you could see through them) and scratchy. If you didn't get your shower first, you got a wet soggy towel. I don't know why grammy was so angry at me for spending my own money on a necessity .....did she think I was being uppity? Trying to live better than she did? What did she expect? Did she expect me to take the worn out family towels, and leave her with nothing ? Or was she going to buy new towels at that point ? The irony is, when she died, and we were cleaning out her house, we found boxes full of beautiful soft fluffy towels, still in tissue paper with dept store tags on them - never used. They were wedding gifts. Grammy was saving them for "some day." To this day, I have a "thing" about towels - they have to be clean and untorn. Call me crazy.
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