Let Them Go

Madea says it better than I can:

Madea's Monologue 

This is what I learned all these years on this earth. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Especially if you know you've done everything you can do. You sat around and have been the best man or the best woman you can be and they still want to go, let them go. Whatever they're running after, they'll see what they had in a minute but by the end, its gonna be too late. Cuz you sit there and you go half this people you've been sitting around, crying about them, worrying about them, but two or three years from now you wont even remember their last name. How many times have you seen folks going, What the hell was I thinking?let folks go, sonny.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CTPzXwNVc9g

Some people come in your life for a lifetime, some come for a season. You gotta know which is which. And you're always going to mess up when you mix them seasonal people with lifetime expectations. They got people who got married with people they were only suppose to be with for a season and they're wondering why they're having so much hell in their life. That was suppose to be a person that was suppose to come and teach you one thing and you didn't know it so you just fell in love and now you wonder why you ain't got no peace nowhere you go. 

No no. listen. I put everybody that come in my life in a category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they're over here, they're unstable. It blows another way, they're over here. Seasons change and they wither and die. They're gone. That's all right. Most people in the world are like that. They are just there to take from the tree. They are only there to take and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at people like that. That's who they are, a leaf. Some people are like branch on the tree. You gotta be careful with them branches too cuz they will fool you. They're gonna make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong, but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry. But if you find two or three people in your life that are like the roots at the bottom of that tree, you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that ain't going nowhere. They ain't worried about being seen. Don't nobody need to know they know you. They ain't gotta know what they're doing for you. But if those roots are not there, that tree can't live. Do you understand? A tree can have a hundred million branches but only have a few roots down there at the bottom to make sure it gets everything that it needs. I'm telling you sonny, when you get you some roots, hold on to them. but the rest of them, let them go. Let it go. Let folks go. 



Ain't nobody said its gonna be easy. But it'll get easier when you learn how to love yourself. When you get to a point in your life where you look at people and you go Ok, wait a minute. You or me. You WILL make a decision. I've never told nobody Don't bother me anymore, don't talk to me no more. I've never done it. But what I do, is I tell them Look, this thing you're doing right here, that's gonna cause a problem. You need to fix that cuz if were going to be friends and were gonna be cool, you gotta fix that. And if you don't, then were gonna have an issue. If you see somebody fix it or even TRYING to fix it, then that's somebody that cares. Keep them people around. That's a leaf that's trying to grow up and be something else. You understand? But if you tell somebody that what you're doing is hurting me and I need you to stop it and they keep on doing it, they don't care. Move on. Let them go. No matter how much it hurts, let them go. And it'll get easier. I promise you. Everyday, it'll get easier and easier and easier. You just gotta make it through. You hearin me sonny? 

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/am-i-dating-a-narcissist#1

You see, you gotta learn to be by yourself, sonny. People need to learn how to be alone. I don't understand all these people oh I NEED somebody. Lawd where's my man? Lawd where's my wife? That is crazy as hell! If you don't know how to be by yourself, what are you going to do with somebody else? Stop praying about it. Shut up and wait. Go work on you. Hell, that's what that time is for. To get yourself together. I'd rather be in a corner, by myself, with a puppy and a goldfish and be happy than to be sitting around with somebody in my house and I'm wondering, what the hell are they there for? You would be surprised of things people put up with just to have somebody say they love them. That's crazy. I don't understand that. I cant live in dysfunction. I'm sorry. You hear me sonny? Fa sho you better hear me fa sho. 

The Stages of Retirement

The stages of retirement:

1) First 30 days : Fuck you, work! Fuck everyone and everything related to work! Screaming “F-U-C-K !” To the universe. Let it all out. Fuck it to “the man”, whoever he is to you. Fuck societal oppression and random people you feel oppress you in all forms, including traffic, annoying relatives, bathing, going to the dentist, dieting, that colonoscopy you’ve been putting off, and standing in lines.

2) First 6 months : Lots of naps, sleeping in, sleeping longer, staying up late, throwing away your alarm clock, taking a break from anything irksome or time consuming, such as social obligations, showering/ baths and hygiene in general, looking at daily chores you need to do to survive and telling yourself, “I can always do that, later....I don’t have to do it, or anything, right now or maybe at all, ever”, purging everything you own that is related to or reminds you of work including but not limited to: work clothing, office supplies, clocks, briefcases/ messenger bags, sensible shoes, motivational “art”, haircuts and hairstyling/ grooming products, makeup, bras, tweezing/ waxing, travel coffee cups.....then expanding this purge mentality to cleaning out your home, top to bottom, and having a series of ever diminishing yard sales of all the junk you’d been meaning to get rid of for decades but were too busy to do it.....along with tiny amounts of guilt at the friends you left behind, the fact that you can retire at all, coupled with immense relief and a strong wish you’d done this much sooner.....

3) First year : I’m gonna do what I always wanted to do, but never had time to do! Who am I ? What are my interests ? What did I enjoy doing as a child? What is something I always  wanted to learn how to do?

New hobbies : above - painting. Below - gardening. 

Garden before ^ and after, \/

4) Second 6 months : I’m going to travel the world! See new places, work through my bucket list, visit all my old friends. You also sign up for everything you ever wanted to do, ever, and fill your life with a new busyness, till a few weeks in to some new commitment, when you are exhausted and stressed out and some of the new bosses you have are jerks just like your old boss and the weather is bad and you ask yourself, why am I doing this? And a “good day / week” is one where you have nothing planned at all, so you start to figure out how to dial it all back.

And that is YEAR ONE.