2/15/2009

The Man Tent

Every year around this time, GFT cannot help but chuckle to herself as "the man tent" appears at the local Kroger grocery store parking lot. Millions of similar structures suddenly arise all across America. You could say they suddenly pop up, pressing against the seams of society, as the proximity to that great romantic holiday, Valentine' s Day, approaches. The man tent, you see, is erected, (please excuse me the occasional pun, the possibilities here are just too good to let pass ) as it were, for all those hapless chaps who know they need to purchase a Valentine's Day gift for their beloved, but just can't bring themselves to step inside an actual store and purchase one. GFT knows that shopping is something most men abhor, and her own hubster, true to fashion, would rather have his nails pulled out than visit the local mall. Hence the growth of the man tent, a brilliant marketing ploy.

The man tent was the invention of a brilliant marketing manager somewhere along the way, a man no doubt, who observed that it is obviously too difficult a task for men to actually park the car and go into a store to buy the usual requisite flowers, candy, cards, cheesy stuffed animals, etc. By coming up with the idea of placing a large tent in the parking lot, men could be assured that their maniless was not challenged in any way, as they go about their twice or thrice yearly(Christmas ? birthdays ? ) ritual acts of shopping for the woman in their lives. Furthermore, by driving up to the tent, leaving the car idling with the door ajar and the keys in the ignition, men get the thrill of not having to deal with the lines of random other customers slowing a man down, clogging up the register lanes with their silly purchases of milk,cigarettes and groceries. The men on a mission for VD gifts must complete his mission with a minimum of fuss and time. To spend any longer than absolutely necessary would drastically increase the embarrassment quotient of said men, and that we just can't have.

It has taken the hubster only 15 years to learn that it is far easier to please the ole' ball and chain on VD than to spite her. The good will incurred by Doing The Right Thing lasts for months......the fury incurred by not doing the right thing, lasts......FOREVER. GFT has only a few simple requirements, all quickly and easily satisfied by the clever man with a credit card : dinner out at a nice restaurant, flowers, candy ( drugstore brands won't suffice) and a gift. A nice gift. Really, was that so hard ?






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