When I Am an Old Woman, I Will Not Wear Purple With YOU

There is a popular poem that is floating around Hallmark card stores and the blog-o-sphere, inspiring a woman's movement all over the globe. It goes something like this :

WARNING
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

While I generally live my life so as to celebrate the ideas of this poem - non conformity, joie de vivre, who cares what the neighbors think ? live for today- I can't help but notice that this little ditty has somehow inspired groups of women all over the place to form clubs, dress alike in the manner suggested by the poem, and get together to celebrate their "individuality" by ALL DOING THE EXACT SAME THING. I do have many girlfriend groups I spend time with, and whose very existence makes my life a delight, and I am generally FOR any sort of "sistah" bonding or socializing in any form. And yet...seeing groups like the one above, which I saw at a museum in New Orleans this weekend, strikes me as somehow missing the point : The poem is a homage to enjoy one's own uniqueness, and does not urge its adherents to conformity. Any conformity. Even the conformity of being in a cool girl friends group that all wears the same outfit and goes about together, doing the same wacky things in the same way with each other, in the uniform of the club. Great example of irony, here.

happy saint patRICK'S DAY !

Saint Patrick's Day is The National Holiday O' Rick, aka the hubster.
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I wasn't born an Irishman, but I married one as soon as I could........Even in this little outpost of civilization on the prairie, we prepare for weeks, sometimes months, to celebrate this day in a properly festive manner. A schedule must be followed for this day, and each activity has its own special part. You see, I married an Irishman......and this day may be one of the most important in his entire yearly calendar. In the early years of marriage, celebrating this day was all quite foreign to me, (GFT claims Germany and England as her ancestor's homelands, with a touch of France and Native American thrown in for spice), and I often jumbled up what was required of me to do. However, with the passage of time, I have embraced hubster's traditions, and now see myself as a special envoy of Irishness wherever I go. *
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The first step, naturally, is to wear green all day. I remember as a little child not getting this one right some years, it was all quite random to me, and I probably forgot completely about it or else didn't even own green clothing, and there was always some annoying kid at school who would pinch me repeatedly (I mean, come on ! Isn't once enough ? Doesn't that "count" ? What's up with this every 5 seconds crap ? ) because I had nothing green on. (I always tried to say I was wearing green underwear, but that kid wasn't buying it. Did I look like the kind of kid who even owned green underwear ? I don't think so.) Holidays in my spartan Presbyterian childhood were rarely celebrated at all...some years, my mom even found cooking for Christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving dinners to be too much of a pain; she was always busy ironing ( just what, I am not certain, as she strongly disliked either entertaining or going out - so just what was it that she wanted to get the wrinkles out of ? curtains?) and we simply foraged for ourselves in the pantry, eating leftovers or soup or whatever was handy. So the entire concept of wearing a special ensemble just for this day was completely foreign to me.
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Now, of course, this is not the case. I have an entire wardrobe of green items - heavy long sleeve sweatshirts, sweaters, turtlenecks and coats from when we lived in the northeast ...... lightweight t-shirts for this semi-tropical paradise we now call home. Green socks, hats, suspenders, and various accessories such as pins, blinking shamrock necklaces, silly leprechaun hats, buttons that say "Kiss Me I'm Irish", or "Let's Play Hide the Leprechaun", green antennae, silly wigs, giant bow ties, etc. Wearing a green shirt on St Paddy's Day is quite an art . You have to find something as close to Kelly green as you can, yet it still needs to be a shade that looks good on you. Not everyone can wear green. GFT needs a blue-ish hue, as things that are too yellow make me look sallow. Yet one must be careful - teal, forest green, mint, or lime green are really "iffy" choices, and smack of half-hearted attempts.
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All these clothing requirements mean that one must, at some point, shop especially for St Patrick's Day, and this was where the ritual "exchanging O' the gifts" got started. St Patrick's Day merchandise only appears in stores for a brief moment in the retail season - often sandwiched in quickly between Valentine's Day and Easter paraphernalia. Blink twice and it's gone - either all bought up, or consigned to back shelf "clearance" areas. Hubster is a difficult enough person to shop for, as it is. He doesn't collect golf clubs, rare editions, or sports cars. Most things he wants, such as CDs or sporting goods equipment, he buys for himself whenever the whim strikes him. So it's handy to have a theme he collects , and this is a ready made opportunity. For hubster , you see, has turned our game room into "Rick's Irish Pub", (he was inspired when we bought this house, for this room has carpeting almost exactly the same as the carpeting found in our old college hangout, aka Willy's Pub....lord knows how much time we all spent looking at that nasty carpet, the pattern is forever indelibly ingrained on our subconsciouses -it's a 60's style pattern in green and gold and matches the pool table, et al), and hubster never ceases to fill it with both beer-themed art and Irish memorabilia. It is a classic bastion of male tasteless fantasy. I advise any wife to allow her husband just such a room in the house, for then all that decorative "art" that he brings home from gas stations, dumpster diving, Spencer's Gifts and garage sales can then be gathered into this one safe space. To further this incredible collection hubster has, I often shop for St Paddy's Day themed items, such as beer mugs, Guinness posters, Irish nick-knacks, leprechaun dolls , you name it, he's got it - and give them to him . It makes him happy, and makes up for the sometimes difficult task of finding something he wants for XMAS or his birthday.
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It goes without saying that you can't spend St Paddy's Day without listening to Irish music. In the early years, we often took in a parade or two, depending on where we lived and if there was a good one nearby. These often happen on the Saturday before the actual day, and so barely count as part of the celebration. Parades and the obligatory bar-hopping are just not enough to sate the musical requirements of the man. Hubster absolutely MUST listen to "The Unicorn Song" at least 3 or 4 times throughout the day, once an hour would be better, or he doesn't feel as if he's experienced the true "Irishman in a bar" moment. He does have several CD mixes he has put together over the years, modern Celtic bands mixed with traditional stuff, which he floats through the massive sound system that not only connects every room in our home, but wafts out into the backyard, as well. I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it. This mix plays in our home all day long, for HOURS without any one song repeating.
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The day culminates with an evening spent in the closest thing we can find to an Irish type pub, depending on where we live at any given moment. In the early years, I tried to get into the spirit of the day and cook an Irish meal, but after a few valiant attempts, hubster admitted that he really doesn't care for traditional Irish foods. So much for that one. Now we simply go out, eat whatever bar food strikes our fancy, and raise a glass to Saint Patrick. It is a tradition I keep wherever I am ; for example, last year I found myself in Paris on St Paddy's. Fortunately, there are some wonderfully authentic Irish bars in Paris, so my companions and I managed to celebrate appropriately, even in the land of Frenchmen. I have in fact celebrated March 17 all over the world, and sampled some of the great traditions of cities with vibrant Irish populations such as New York, Boston, San Francisco . It must be noted that drinking green beer does not count as authentic if it is lite beer. Guinness, as the ads used to say, "is good for you", and a much stouter choice. 'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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Check out my fave north Texas Irish Celtic band, the Killdares
http://www.killdares.com/



*The envoy part : Today it just so happened that I was at the dentist's for my six month teeth cleaning. Now, my dentist is a very kind man, and a wonderful dentist. He is, however, a member of one of those large fundamentalist faiths which treat Denton as "ground zero" in their plan to evangelize the hordes of impressionable college students that fill this town. As I walked into his office and climbed into the chair, he said to me, "I see you are wearing green. I admit I've never really understood what all the fuss is about. What is the big celebration for ? Who is Saint Patrick ? Why is he associated with Ireland ? Why is he so important ? What do shamrocks and leprechauns and all that other stuff have to do with it ? " Well, it just so happens that GFT knew all the answers, having read Thomas Cahill's How the Irish Saved Civilization and taught in a parochial school. I know all about saints' days and who the various saints are, what they are associated with, the history of Christianity, and why the ecclesiastical year is divided up the way it is. (I am also a student of world mythology, and know a fair amount of Celtic traditions as well. ) What is amazing to me is that other purportedly Christian faiths.......don't.

History of Saint Patrick's Day
http://www.history.com/minisites/stpatricksday/

Spring Comes to North Texas

Spring is a fickle mistress, taunting us for weeks with her "come here, come here, go away, go away" flirtations. People think of Texas as being a hot dry country and so it is; we have been in an overall drought for years. People get so excited when it rains around here , they post news of it on their facebook pages. South Texas is much like Florida or California in terms of overall climate, gently melding from winter to summer and back again with little differentiation. Yet in north Texas we do have 4 distinct seasons. Summer may be the longest one, but that does not mean we don't long for spring to come, just the same. Every year that I can remember, we've had a period of unseasonably warm weather in late February. Everyone puts away their winter clothes, pulls out the lawn furniture, and starts planting flowers. Inevitably, we get one last hideous cold snap that seems to catch people by surprise, year after year. In 2008 we had 6-8 inches of snow on March 8. This year the last cold snap was not as drastic; just a week long period of sleeting rain and gray skies. Temps in the high 30's. Bone chilling, raw and damp. It is still miserable enough to make my joints start to ache, and force me to dig out my coat and golashes one more time.

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Through all this, one glimmer of hope remains. Bright little pansies may make a brave show through most of the winter, often surviving even a severe ice storm . Tulips, irises and jonquils can suddenly pop up in yards around this time as well. But the one thing that I know heralds the spring is the blooming of the redbud tree. Denton fancies itself the "Redbud Capital of the World" or somesuch, and for years had a little festival that city fathers tried valiantly to time to line up with the actual blooming of said trees. They chased the persnickety blooms all over the calendar, often changing the festival dates forward or back, as global warming would have it, and often not coinciding with their namesake at all. Yet the redbuds bloom on- each year around this time, give or take a week. Their bright pink color stands out amidst the gray green of other shrubs whose time has not yet come, and promise that soon it will be warm and sunny enough to truly enjoy being outside.

Literary Salon

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Love , Pray

GFT spends a fair amount of time reading books; it is no secret, she is an English teacher and has been an avid reader all her life. This new wrinkle to a lifetime of generally avoiding whatever I should be doing by burying my head in a book, (as a child, I carried reading material with me everywhere to fill those odd minutes, whether it be swim lessons or class time; went to the local library once a week and checked out the max, which was 20, every time; actually saved up my lunch money to buy paperbacks from the book cart at my school library instead of getting the ice cream sandwich each day; have been known to pack more books than clothing for an extended trip; was always the lone mom with a book in my lap at my sons' soccer games; have read the Bible so many times I've lost count, most often while sitting in the pew at church trying to tune out some dreadful sermon resounding all around me; to this day I keep an emergency book to read in almost all locations, incl my car), is to commune with other readers in a variety of situations.

People are often amazed when they hear that I am in two, yes, count 'em, two ! book clubs - at the same time ! One at work, and one at home in the neighborhood. Please remember, a book club isn't just about the book - it's also about the socialization, the food & wine, the pleasure of the experience of coming together with friends who like books. We talk about the book, but we also talk about other things. This isn't the only reading that I do, oh no.......Of course, I also read and re-read for work ( skim each novel one more time right before I teach it), read books not assigned by my book clubs just for fun, keep a running list of titles on amazon - generally things I hear reviewed on NPR or rec by a friend - and pick off a half dozen things to buy each month on payday, have subscriptions to dozens of magazines ( frequently given to me by well-meaning relatives ) , read at least 3 newspapers a day ( local small town one, one for the major metropolis nearby, and a national one), not to mention the countless hours wasted each day surfing the net, reading various things too random to mention.

As if two book clubs weren't enough ( fortunately, their lists tend to overlap some, and I don't feel compelled to read 100% of their selections), I have found a wonderfully addictive new time-waster, the "author talk". People who are lucky enough to live in NYC or LA have had access to these type of events forever. People who live in a fly-over state don't always get those options. Fortunately for GFT, the Dallas Museum of Art has this wonderful program called "Arts and Letters Live", which brings noted authors to town.

http://dallasmuseumofart.org/Dallas_Museum_of_Art/Experience/Arts___Letters_Live/index.htm

Through this venue, I been able to hear some of my favorite current authors talk about their published works, books that are in progress, heard them read from their selections, and listened to them ramble on and on and " talk piffle" ( in the immortal words of Dorothy Sayers.) It is always interesting to see and listen to an author and how s/he approaches such an event as "the author talk". Some are self-conscious, some are self-deprecating, some are unusually thoughtful, some are surprisingly witty, some are kinda dull, some use the event as a chance to sell an upcoming work, or push a particular cause they believe in. Over the most recent few years, I have gotten to "see" ( hear) :

1) Khaled Hosseini -The Kite Runner, 1000 Sacred Suns -mild mannered, articulate, thoughtfully intelligent, soft-spoken.
2)Marjane Satrapi-Persepolis - amazingly fluent and funny and interesting, esp considering that English is her 5th language ( so she said)
3)Tracy Chevalier - Girl With a Pearl Earring - interesting how she gets the ideas for her novels
4)Wally Lamb-I Know This Much is True, The Hour I First Believed - very thoughtful, quiet, deeply spiritual
5)Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Love, Pray - long rambling stream-of-consciousness, but delightful to listen to, and you come away feeling like you've just had the best therapy session of your life
6)Ian McEwan - Atonement, Amsterdam -surprisingly witty in a droll British way

An evening dedicated to going to hear an author talk usually takes the form of a "girl's night out" for me, and involves meeting up with a friend or friends, having dinner, drinks, etc. For Elizabeth Gilbert's event I went with 4 friends that make up a rather eclectic group : one is a science teacher ( 50ish), one a hairstylist (30ish), one a physical therapist (60ish), and myself, another teacher(40ish). What we share in common are: wild wacky sense of humor, fashion as we each interpret it, love of good food and wine, an interest in world cultures and alternative religions. (At various points, we have also shared a therapist and some of our favorite nightclubs, but I digress.) We had a fabulous evening, eating Vietnamese food and then going to the symphony hall, along with 1200 other like-minded (99% women) people, to hear Ms Gilbert share her warmth, humor, and wisdom with us. It reminded me that a teeny tiny little part of me celebrates the goddess, the communal teachings of all womankind. For I can't have helped but notice at these events that the majority of the people there are women, and I have often asked myself, why ? The Kite Runner is a masculine story line, with male characters in a middle eastern country. Amsterdam focuses primarily on male characters and the world of politics, being a sort of modern-day remake of Julius Caesar. It isn't as if all the books I like are written by, about, and for women. I live in a home full of men, all of whom are currently enthralled with reading : The Count of Monte Cristo, the Watchmen, anything by John Krakauer. Whatever the reason, I celebrate these experiences, and have decided that this, the cult of books, is my new religion.

Ian McEwan

The "BBC" Book List

Those who are in the know will recognize this photo as one of GFT and one of her oldest "bookie" friends, in front of a famous bookstore in Paris where American writers hung out in the 1920's. It is even rumored that once, while broke, Hemingway slept upstairs.

Pretend not to notice that : a)GFT has been too busy with work, life, and other things to post any original blog writings lately, and b)GFT constantly refers to herself in the 3rd person, much as Caesar does in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, which is supposed to demonstrate to the audience/reader how meglomaniacal and annoying J.C. has become, and explain why Brutus simply must join the assassins and kill Caesar now !

Supposedly, the "BBC" believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. I don't believe it for a moment, but I thought it would be fun to see how many of these I'd read. Place an X next to all the books you've read ( I've added a T for ones I've taught ) and see if you can prove the "BBC" wrong!

• 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (X,T) ATF stands for "all time fave"
• 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X)
• 3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X,T) ATF
• 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X)
• 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee ( X,T) ATF
• 6 The Bible (X,T) generally while avoiding listening to the sermon in church
• 7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X)
• 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X)
• 9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ()
• 10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X)
• 11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott ( X)
• 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (X)
• 13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (X)
• 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (X) once power-read 30 in a 24 hour long cram session
• 15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X) ATF
• 16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X)
• 17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk ( )
• 18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (X)
• 19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger ( )
• 20 Middlemarch - George Eliot ( )
• 21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell ( X,T) ATF
• 22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (X,T) ATF
• 23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens (X)
• 24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy (X) first time was in 5th grade
• 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X)
• 26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X ) ATF
• 27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky ( X)
• 28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (X,T)
• 29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X,T)
• 30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (X)
• 31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (X)
• 32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (X)
• 33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X)
• 34 Emma - Jane Austen (X,T) ATF
• 35 Persuasion - Jane Austen ( X) ATF
• 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X)
• 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (X,T ) ATF
• 38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres ( )
• 39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden ( X)
• 40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
• 41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (X,T)
• 42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (X)
• 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (X)
• 44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving (X)
• 45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins (X) also liked The Moonstone
• 46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery ( X)
• 47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy ( )
• 48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood (X) scary but prescient
• 49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X,T)
• 50 Atonement - Ian McEwan ( X) ATF
• 51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel (X) boring
• 52 Dune - Frank Herbert (X)
• 53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons (X)
• 54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (X,T) ATF
• 55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth ( )
• 56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon ( )
• 57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X,T)
• 58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (X)
• 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon (X)
• 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ( X)
• 61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X,T)
• 62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov ( X)
• 63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt ( X)
• 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold ( )
• 65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (X) my son loves this one
• 66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac (X )
• 67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy (X)
• 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding ( X) ATF
• 69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie ( ) on my list
• 70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville ( X)
• 71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
• 72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (X)
• 73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X)
• 74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson (X)
• 75 Ulysses - James Joyce (X ) surprisingly iteresting
• 76 The Inferno - Dante (X)
• 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome ( )
• 78 Germinal - Emile Zola ( )
• 79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray ( )
• 80 Possession - AS Byatt (X ) ATF
• 81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X,T)
• 82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell ( )
• 83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker (X,T)
• 84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro (X )
• 85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert (X)
• 86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry (X ) ATF
• 87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X)
• 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ( ) hell no and never plan to, either
• 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (X)
• 90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton ( )
• 91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (X,T)
• 92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
• 93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks (X)
• 94 Watership Down - Richard Adams (X)
• 95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole (X)
• 96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute (X ) ATF
• 97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (X)
• 98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X,T)
• 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X)
• 100. Les Miserables-Victor Hugo (X)