Iced tea
Forget those lists the glossy lifestyle magazines dish out –
cocktails, a string of pearls, a hand-crafted hunting rifle – this is a list
based on reality, not fantasy. Two things to keep in mind if you are not an
American Southerner: the region extends from Virginia to Texas, which is 1962.5
miles from Washington DC to El Paso, Texas. The Upper South has the same
climate as Pennsylvania and other Mid-Atlantic states. The Deep South and
Florida have tropical, humid climates. Texas in the eastern half is similar to
Louisiana, and in the western half to New Mexico- that is, arid desert. It is
generally hot for 6-10 months of the year, especially in the Deep South. Once
predominantly rural, our “sunbelt” cities are automobile-centric and now it would
be difficult to figure out how to go back and add trains and subways (not
always supported by the soil). I have a close childhood friend, himself a
native Texan but moved to NYC long ago, who has forgotten what life is like
here although he visits frequently. He is perpetually “surprised” by our
clothes, our lifestyle, and our habits, but just like those of people who live
in Helsinki or Tangiers, they have evolved from our climate.
HYDRATION
Sure, we drink cocktails – gin and tonics, Sazeracs,
margaritas, locally produced and imported beer and wine, just like anyone else.
But even more important to our survival is non-alcoholic hydration. We must drink
cold beverages with ice, all year long, just to survive. It is no coincidence
that both Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper soft drinks originated in the south. We
drink iced tea, “sweet” (with sugar) or “unsweet” (no sugar), all day long by
the gallon. Just as with any of the ancient beverages of the world (Read The
History of the World in Six Glasses, by Stoddard) tea evolved to deal with the uncertainty
of clean water. We kept what had been introduced by our founding British colonists,
but changed it to iced tea bc who wants to quaff a boiling cup of liquid when
it’s 108F outside? Iced tea is even more refreshing than water on a hot day bc
the tea acts as a mild diuretic, helping you sweat and your kidneys to function
better.
CEILING FANS (and A/C)
Even though no one lives in the American south without
electrical “air conditioning” (nothing at all like what they call “air
conditioning” in Italy), sometimes even that powerful blast of frigid air is
not enough. Our offices, shopping malls, hospitals and other public buildings
will frequently be refrigerated to the point that you need a sweater to
tolerate the temperatures. Our homes, however, aren’t run quite as cold bc it
is too expensive. (I hope that someday cheap readily available solar power will
eliminate this struggle.) So we add to the air conditioning of our homes with
ceiling fans. My granny had ceiling fans in every room of her house, before air
conditioning was invented. I have ceiling fans in every room of my house and
some of the hallways. They run just about year-round bc for 10 months of the
year I need them and for the other 2, even in the winter, I like to move the
air around and keep it from getting stuffy and too hot in pockets. Additionally,
I have small portable a/c units in the bedrooms upstairs bc my central a/c unit
just can’t pump out enough cold. The reason the American “sunbelt” wasn’t
settled until after WWII is bc no one had invented air conditioning yet.
HAIRSPRAY
I grew up learning to use hairspray as a very little girl,
and it wasn’t to keep my giant bubble-head bouffant hairstyle in place all day.
Most places in the American south have high humidity year- round, and our mamas
teach us to control our errant strands, so we can be “lady-like” at all times,
with the lacquer that comes from these cans. Note: Expensive, designer, salon
or other high-end hairsprays never work very well. IDK why, they just don’t.
Perhaps the level of control wanted by the designer’s clients in NYC and LA isn’t
what we need here in the south. Generally speaking, the cheaper the hairspray,
the better. You want it to glue your hair in place like invisible cement. Sure,
it is painful to comb it out- you have to wash your hair every day. We do that
anyway, bc it is so hot and humid we sweat in our scalps all the time.
DEODORANT / ANTI-PERSPIRANT
Right along up there with hairspray is deodorant. Americans
are notorious for being offended by their own bodily smells, and living in a
climate where we sweat all the time, even in the winter, our smells are even
worse. We all know that fresh sweat- like when you just finished exercising-
isn’t all that bad for a few minutes. But when you dwell in a hot humid place
all the time, that sweat quickly grows bacteria and results in a stale funkiness
no one wants to experience. Even living and working in air-conditioned spaces, I work up a sweat just walking to my car in the parking lot, and can smell awful by the end of the day. The sort of human sweat stink you smell on the
subway on a hot day where you feel like you are about to choke from all the
human fumes is truly overwhelming. So yes, we bathe nearly every day. And we
use a lot of deodorant. Be thankful we do.
SWIMMING HOLES/ SWIMMING POOLS
One is found in nature, the other is man-made. They both
serve the same purpose. We frequently get streaks of 100+F degree days in the
summer, sometimes 40 or more days in a row with no rain. Just about the only
thing that keeps us from killing each other is the ability to cool off and
relax. You have seen old newspaper photos of cities such as Detroit or Chicago
opening the fire hydrants and letting city kids run around in the streams of
water produced. The only difference is, their hot streaks last a few days, and
our last a few months. You have to have a plan to survive it. Every single
year.
Gulf Shores, Alabama
The Outerbanks, North Carolina
Padre Island, Texas
BEACHES
We are fortunate in the American South that the ocean is
never too far away. Beaches are everywhere. Thank god.
Top: gumbo, a thick stew made with okra, chicken or seafood, spices, and served over rice
Bottom: chicken frying in a pan
STOVE TOP COOKING
People make fun of southerners for eating too much fried food,
as if we do it bc we are ignorant and lazy. The real reason we eat fried food,
as well as gumbo, potato or macaroni salad, and anything that can be cooked in a pot or skillet on top of
the stove, is bc it is too hot to heat up the oven. A hot oven heats up the house, even with a/c. Think about that for a
moment. I had
a college roommate whose mom would mail her a big package of home-baked treats-
cookies and stuff – as soon as the weather cooled down enough to bake, some time
in the fall. My own mother loved to bake, and her cakes and pies and cinnamon rolls,
all from scratch, were legendary. She only made these things for 4 or 5 months
of the year. Never in the summer.
Top: This is a smoker. It is used to slow cook, via low heat and smoking, generally thick cuts of tough meat for 20+ hours. The fire is in the separate, smaller container.
Below: This is a grill : It is used to quick cook thin cuts of meat and vegetables, in 5-10 minutes. The fire is under the food.
GRILLING, BBQ-ING, COOKING OUTDOORS
We cook outdoors, too, for the same reason- we don’t want to
heat up the kitchen (even with air conditioning). Grilling, or BBQing are our
general terms for meat or anything else that is cooked outdoors on an open fire
brazier or grill. In the Upper South, people will refer to BBQ as chicken,
pork, hotdogs, burgers, corn or whatever, slow-cooked, quick-cooked, anything
cooked outside. Some even use the term as an all-purpose word that means “picnic” or outdoor party. In Texas, BBQ always means one thing: smoked beef (brisket, ribs, or links) that has been
slow-cooked, often 20+ hours or more, over low heat and smoke, in a special
kind of grill, called a smoker. At my house, we grill almost year-round. We go out to eat BBQ at a restaurant, due to the time commitment involved. There
was a rumor in the 1980’s that grilled meat caused cancer, but my only thought
in response was, “humans have been cooking meat over fire since the dawn of
time- why stop now?” Plus, I like the taste.
Outdoor kitchens
OUTDOOR COOKING - ADVANCED - KITCHENS
Southerners like to cook outdoors so much, there’s been a
hot new building trend the past 5-10 years: outdoors kitchens. Outdoor kitchens
can be large or small, plain or fancy. This is in addition to having an indoor
kitchen, and often the one built outside in the back yard will be far more
luxurious and certainly larger, than the original indoor kitchen. Remember when
having two bathrooms was a status symbol? Now it’s two kitchens. People like to
have them near their swimming pools.
COTTON (AND LINEN,TOO)
I was trolling through a catalog the other day, looking for
some end-of-the-season sale items, and I noticed a bunch of tencel sheets. I
thought to myself, “Who the hell sleeps on tencel sheets?” Why did they ever
think that was a good idea? I can’t even imagine sleeping on such a thing up in
yankeeville…. apparently no one else did, either, bc this catalog was full of
them. No one bought them. Tencel is
what? Modal? Another word for rayon? Wood/bamboo pulp bathed in chemicals? Do
you know how rayon is made? “The cellulose xanthate is bathed in caustic soda,
resulting in a viscose solution…. rayon is a manufactured fiber composed of
regenerated cellulose.” Thank god we
have cotton (and linen, too). Thank you, ancient Egyptians/Indians/Persians or whoever
figured out how to harvest and use these natural fabrics. My NYC friend (the
one who grew up in Texas, and ought to know better) is constantly amazed that
we wear sheer cotton and linen clothing, in light colors, in our hot climate. People
around the globe who live in hot climates do , too, so I am not sure why he is
perpetually surprised, but he is. My new luxury item is linen sheets- they wick away the sweat on a hot summer night.
HATS
It’s not just a fashion statement- it’s a necessity. My poor
hubster is as bald as a billiard cue and never leaves the house without a hat.
Even I, with a thick head of hair, wear a hat in the summers bc my dark head
absorbs more heat from the sun.
Man sandals = mandals
SANDALS
Most folks wear these at least 9-10 months of the year. I
once knew someone who wore them year round, but she was from Colorado and
thought our winters were a joke.
PEDICURES
Which brings us to pedicures, bc if you are going to wear
sandals, you had better not have nasty rough feet with chipped polish or –
heaven forbid! No polish at all. I have continuously worn nail polish on my
toes since I was 12 years old. I don’t even paint my finger nails as often as I
do my toes (weekly).
SHADE aka PATIO COVERS
100 years ago, homes in the south had covered porches, often
with ceiling fans. My grandmother’s house had porches that wrapped around
nearly the entire house. Increasingly today, we want to be able to relax and
entertain in the privacy of our back yards, and we leave the front porch, as a “public”
space, alone. We might decorate it seasonally, but we don’t hang out there
anymore. We hang out in the back of our homes. Even urban apartment dwellers
will have a small back porch or balcony for plants and a grill. Whether fancy or bare bones, creating a bit of
shade is a must – especially if you live in one of those newer neighborhoods
that have no trees (bc, you know, the developers mowed the trees down to build
the houses….then planted new ones.)
NATURE and TREES
Sure, NYC and Boston may have a few trees scattered here and
there. LA will have palm trees. But in the south, we need trees, and we need nature.
Even Dallas, a city dominated by freeway culture, built a double-deck freeway
and used 80% of the top layer as a park, with trees. It changed the entire
character of downtown…..people love it.
