The Girl From Texas’ Guide to Staying Cool

 

Ten years ago, when faced with global warming naysayers, my response at the time was, “The only thing we know for certain is that existing weather patterns will change.” Well hi-dee-yah! this summer has been the proof. The US has experienced scorching heat along both coasts, 110-117F (43-47C) in areas typically 70-90F (21-32C), while a dip in the jet stream is keeping my hellscape just a tad bit cooler. Those poor yankee northerner type people think they’ve died and gone to eternal damnation bc they have no air-conditioning. My m-i-l in Virginia is surprised that her “summer weight polyester knits” are uncomfortable to wear right now. Friends from Portland are camped out in their basement. Texans, of course, think these folk are just a bunch o’ grumbling ninnies. We are used to hot weather in our land - our summer climate is typically similar to that of summers in Spain, the south of France, southern Italy, the center of Australia in winter, the Indian sub-continent, or north Africa anytime - for 6 months of the year. 

1) dwellings

The logical thing, of course, would be to adapt our dwellings and our lifestyle to that of New Mexico or the South - with thick walls, shady porches, vegetation, etc. and a slower pace of living to combat the heat….

……But nah, we’re just not that sensible. Homes in the Mediterranean may have 2ft thick walls and rainwater collection cisterns, but in Texas, we have/ used to have  oil, so why be sensible? 200 years of ridiculousness can’t stop now…. we are going to mow down all the native old growth trees, by gum, then build the most energy inefficient glass walled cities and dwellings in their place. Pump ‘em full of stale air conditioning so cold you need a down jacket at the office, all the while simultaneously pumping the a/c system’s hot exhaust out into the environment for the peasants to endure. We’ll ignore the natural terrain and build over marshes and streams, then act surprised when they flood in monsoon season. We’ll just build bigger subterranean pumps to keep ‘em dry. Everything will be constructed of mdf “wood”, Chinese drywall, plastic, glass, low quality poorly mixed cement, and iron bars that rust…..while planting a tiny stick sized tree here and there, to get the EPA and tree huggers off our back. Gotta love Texas!

And everyone will act surprised when this happens: 

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-57659311

None of this however, helps our friends currently living through heatwaves in various parts of the globe. Having traveled extensively, I have adapted the best practices of cultures I have sampled, and over the course of my life, developed hot weather survival strategies: 

Part of dwelling strategies, if you have no large trees, is to create shade any way you can

Super cheap, assembles in minutes (overstock, amazon, ebay, Lowes, Home Depot, Walmart)

This one costs more, needs a carpenter to assemble

These auto sunscreens really do lower the interior temp of your car…. I have one each for front and back windows. The trick is to crack your car windows a tiny bit, and as hot air rises, let it escape. Try it - 20 degrees cooler, I promise. (Still not cool enough for kids or pets to be left behind.) You will also notice if you travel the world that people in hot places don’t purchase black cars. Stay sexy, if needs must, but as global warming continues, I’d rethink that…..it does make a huge, significant, real difference. 

More instant shade ideas. Spend a little, spend a lot. Coolaroo shades are like weather proof blankets and can be strung anywhere. Or just use real blankets, towels, sheets. If you can cool your dwelling with shade on the outside, it will be cooler for you on the inside. 

Solar sun screen window coverings - I finally invested in these a few years back, and they made a considerable change to my electric bill when running the ac. Not only is my power usage less now to cool the house, but my carpets don’t fade either. These are mesh; you can see through them. And, strangely - something I did not expect - my house looks better! The ugly 1950’s green speckled glass is covered up, it just looks like a darkened window from the outside. Best of all : relatively cheap! About $100 per window (compared to new windows, at about $1000 per window.) 

2) clothing

a) Give up pantyhose

b) Sandals, no socks - you may prefer heels or flip-flops, but Birkenstocks remain one of the best selling, most comfortable, suddenly hip again shoe EVER

c) Sunglasses, bc all the cool kids wear them

d) I swear by this, and you will too if you give it a try: Stop wearing synthetic clothing, even cotton poly blends, tight clothes, dark colors. Stop wearing knits, even knit tshirts, socks, nylon underwear, the whole shebang. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Of course, most people around the world don’t wear these things in the first place, they tend to wear natural fibers more often than we do….Americans just can’t seem to grasp the concept that loose fitting, light color, natural fiber clothing will keep you about 10-20 degrees cooler instantly. I started dressing this way when I lived in Houston, which has a climate like Rangoon. It rains every day and is 99% humid the rest of the time. I kept going with the natural fiber trend, linen and cotton, as my own personal allergies and skin care issues dictated. I pretty much wear loose linen and cotton clothing year round. Don’t tell me that it’s too wrinkly, hard to take care of, too expensive, yadayada. Wash it on cold, shake out the wrinkles, hang it on a hanger to dry, smooth it out a bit. Voila! Find high quality linen and cotton clothing for pennies on the dollar at thrift stores, ebay, thread up, etsy, Nordstrom Rack, Off Saks, NM Last Call. 

I love linen, but I also love Indian cotton clothing and bedding. A recent trip to New Delhi showed me the wonders of Indian block print textiles…. They are all I wear around the house. Find them on etsy or ebay. Men’s clothing, too…..

3)diet

There is a perception that people in the South only eat fried chicken, fried pickles, french fries, junk food, etc…..you may be craving a big tender steak in some over air conditioned black hole of a bar right now…..but the best diet overall for hot weather is also the best one for beating the heat : Mediterranean. Eat the foods that go with the climate. Keep meals light, plant-based, fresh, and cool. Stay hydrated in a non alcoholic way. 

I spent a summer in a kibbutz and our meals consisted of :

Breakfast: 1 lg raw tomato, 1 lg raw cucumber, 1 orange, 1 boiled egg, and bread. Hot tea, which I let cool.

Lunch : the same

Dinner: liver, beans, tomato + cucumber salad

This grew tiresome quickly, but I was doing manual labor and hungry, so I ate it. You know what? After a month of this, I was in the best damn shape of my life. Living in the middle of the Neghev desert, I became acclimated to the heat and it didn’t even bother me. 

Back home in Texas, I eat a lot of raw fruit; grill everything; chomp cold pasta or green leaf, or fruit, or veggie salads; make smoothies; drink gallons of “unsweet” (so called locally bc “sweet tea” is the default setting.) iced-tea. (Best brand for this? Luzianne tea bags originally from Louisiana. Find it on amazon if not at your local store.) Don’t make it too strong……and stop drinking that expensive junk out of bottles, with fake lemon flavor and preservatives. 

4) water

You don’t have a pool, you say? Can’t escape to the beach? Get creative (unless you live in a drought area….then you’re screwed. ) Well, my granny used to do this…. with cold water not hot. 

Heat is miserable, but you can adapt, make it less hard on your body.