Thanksgiving International

We had some grad students over for dinner this year....you know which dish the boys from India liked best? Pecan Pie from Goode Co in Houston.

Curacao and Bonaire

Willemstad, Curacao on a rainy day

After the devastating hurricanes of 2017, I was looking for a nearby (short flight) summer beach destination, and googled “islands not damaged by hurricanes”. My search produced the ABC islands, off the coast of Venezuela, below the Caribbean hurricane belt. Aruba most folks have heard of, but I knew Curacao only from liquor ads in 1970’s National Geographic magazines - a source of inspiration for so many of my life’s adventures. Researching coral reefs, a particular hobby of mine (goal is to see/ experience each of the top 20 before they are gone), produced recommendations for Bonaire, nearby. Off we went!

 Mamba beach, Curacao

Curacao Liquor Distillery

Hubster touring the distillery, posing in front of an old fashioned still

 Breath-taking natural blow hole on the island of Curacao

One of the world's Top Ten coral reefs, in Bonaire (island next to Curacao and a short 15 min flight hop across the water). We made this a day trip and snorkeled the reefs with a great local company that took us into the middle of the channel in a catamaran sailboat, and dropped us into the water.

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Curacao was delightful for us for several key reasons:
1)As a part of the Netherlands, it was refreshingly 1st world, modern, plenty of folks spoke English
2)Not tropical but arid in climate, means no mosquitoes!
3)Dollars were universally swapable with the local currency, ATMs worked fine, no currency worries
4)Beautiful beaches, and completely uncrowded even in July
5)The total cost of this trip was cheap compared to a previous week spent in Hawaii
6)We stayed at an adult only hotel bc we are empty nesters and not really enamored with other people's crying kids and babies pooping in the hotel pool
7)The food was great

One of our best vacations, ever, and we will definitely return. I could even retire there. Seriously.

Saint Patrick's Day in New Orleans

We take saint patRICK'Sday very seriously in our family, because it is the national holiday of my husband. He is a Yankee, an American of Irish descent who often feels lonely and out of place in Texas every March 17 when it comes to hanging around in bars typical of those he grew up with in central Pennsylvania small towns. There is no one to sing with and those few who do don't know the songs. Few people wear green. Only the college kids are drunk, and they are on spring break. The whole day often passes barely noticed around here.
It was with incredible joy that my husband realized there would be lots of people celebrating the day on our recent trip to New Orleans, and even a parade.

 It was a small yet typical NoLa parade, ironically mocking, friendly and gay. Participants tossed out St pat's Day green beads and merch as they walked/rode the route. Observers stood on balconies and caught them. It was like Mardi Gras, just smaller and calmer, if you can believe that.

 Jax Brewery in the background.

 NoLa brew pub sampler at Crescent City Brewpub.

Band "Roux the Day" playing at NoLa Irish bar, The Kerry. Jameson whiskey promoters were on hand, handing out free shots of whiskey. It was a jolly evening. 

Texas, Explained # 1 : The Basics

Texas, like any other place on this earth, is complicated. It is so large- France is only 2/3 the size of Texas - that it contains wide diversity in its geography, climes, cultures, religions, social classes, and ethnicities. Just as with any other vast sprawling land, you can't summarize it in only a few words. Our media saturated world depicts cliched images of cowboys, oil rigs, rednecks, beauty queens, football, sprawling cities, monster trucks, rodeos, astronauts, movie stars, oil magnates. Think about where you live : is there a stereotype? Is it true for everyone? Movies about Texas simplify and romanticize various aspects : "Giant", "Urban Cowboy", "Steel Magnolias", "Friday Night Lights", "Dallas", "Last Picture Show", "Hope Floats" and other popular iconic images abound.

Recently, while traveling through Europe with a large group of Canadians, Greeks, Brits, and companions of other nationalities, many questions were asked of me as to what Texas is like, and what it is like to live here. My students were repeatedly asked if we ride horses to school every day, dress like cowboys, live on ranches, are rich from oil wells. My first answer is always : Dallas is hot, flat, brown, and ugly.

Urban vs Rural
Like many places in the United States, Texas was once a largely rural society, containing farms and ranches and dotted with small towns. It was not that much different from Ohio, California, Maine, Florida, Virginia, or Germany , Italy, or England - just hotter. Waves of immigrants came to Texas in the 1600's-1900's, just as they did to other parts of the new world: Spanish, French, English, German, Vietnamese, and Mexican peoples filled the land.

In the 20th century, Texas has grown at break-neck pace - due to the arrival of railroads at the end of cattle trails in the 1880's, discovery of oil in the 1920's, placement of military bases in the 1940's, invention of air conditioning in the 1950's, building of NASA in the 1960's. Our cities have exploded in population seemingly over night, and like much of America, the small towns and rural areas are shrinking in population at a rapid rate, as the cities grow. There are entire counties (governmental regions larger than small European nations) that do not have a store, or doctor, or school of their own, but must consolidate together and share these important services - due to population decreases. Because Texas is mostly flat lands and rolling prairie, there are no impediments to city geographical size, such as mountains or rivers. The cities in Texas sprawl outward, not upward, which makes them more like Los Angeles than New York. Texas contains four cities that are in the "Top Ten" of American cities, by population : Houston, San Antonio, Dallas/Ft Worth, and Austin. The triangle formed by these cities is now classified a megalopolis, much like the eastern seaboard of the US (Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore, New York, Boston.)

Because we have a traditional history that is rural, and because the distances are so great, and because our large population has been large only in the past 50 years, the cities in Texas are only connected at this point in time by highways/interstates/freeways, not by trains or other mass transit. (There is talk of a French style bullet train from Dallas to Houston....) Everyone drives, and we live in a"car culture".

Climate
Most of Texas has a hot, dry, arid climate. It is very similar to southern Italy, France, Spain or Greece. Not as temperate as the Mediterranean regions, and colder (windy, dry, ice in the winters) in the northern half of the state. Hot and moist and humid along the coast. Sunny more often than not. It's very similar to southern California - only not as pretty. It could be as charming as the south of France, if only we knew how to live the way the French do. But we don't.

Lifestyle
Texas is considerably less expensive to live in than most places in the USA or western world (My friends often say, "The only place cheaper is Oklahoma, and no one wants to live there."). As I say, most of Texas is hot , flat, brown and ugly - but the cost of living is so cheap, you can have a large home, drive a nice car, and blast the air conditioning in both, all the day long. Jobs are plentiful; we barely noticed the last great recession, and our real estate is bouncing back.(No, I am not a business person, real estate agent, member of any chamber of commerce or "booster" of any kind.) Everything is cheaper in Texas than on either the east or the west coast of America : homes, gas, food, home heating/cooling, taxes, etc. It has to be cheap to lure folks here, due to the climate. (Think : India during the Raj.) People have a lot of extra money to shop and travel, and that's pretty much what they do.

Travel
Texans love to get away, when we can. Our favorite places : Colorado and New Mexico - higher elevation, drier cooler climate, beautiful green mountains, skiing in winter, snow. New Orleans : a 400 year old city full of  Southern gothic charm and fabulous restaurants, the Mississippi . South Padre Island : beaches, sun and surf. Thanks to DFW airport,many wonderful places are just a hop-skip-and a-jump short flight away : the Caribbean, NYC......

What did Santa bring you for Christmas?

"Santa" brought the usual gifts at our house this year- what did he bring to you? ....Electronics and clothing for hubster (poor man, he gets winter clothes for xmas and summer clothes for his bday and that's most of what he gets, wardrobe-wise, all year long.) He also gets " novelty " items related to various college personas and hobbies from back in the day which I cannot mention here, as this is a family blog. Kids got more video game crap, some clothes, gift cards for music downloads and clothing and video games. They also got tablets for downloading books for school and all other cool stuff you can do with them. Hubster got me jewelry (I long ago trained him to shop from a carefully edited pre-approved list that I supply him before any major gift-giving holiday). Really, nothing was unexpected, everything vetted long before the holiday - my sons researched and chose which tablet they wanted- and we like it just that way.
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The wild-card in our holiday gift-giving each year is always my m-i-l, bless her heart. Not knowing what she will do, from year to year, always adds a little frisson of anticipation to our festive holiday mornings. Last year, she bought one 4-pack of "The Nature Channel" geography videos, and cut them up, giving each of us a different continent. They still had the plastic band that connected all four, attached. Hubster sometimes does well- clothing, books, and expensive tools or electronic things. Some years, the clothes are all the wrong size, or girl's clothing, or weird colors. It's a toss-up each year. One year she gave the boys 32 different G.I. Joes. One year she sent a giant bouncy horse that took hubster and me 10 hours to assemble, the night before, and we only just barely finished when the kids woke us up at 6 am. Joy! You have read about my interesting gifts from her over the years: the prune doll devil, the bag of hay, the Clear Out Your Clutter book. Well, m-i-law went to Germany again this year, to the Christmas markets to shop. Did she buy us more figurines, ( she seems determined that we will collect owls, Hummels, wood carvings- whether we want to, or not) cuckoo clocks, Christmas ornaments, knick-knacks, gimcracks, paddy-wacks? No. She bought us extremely expensive, hand-embroidered wool, velvet, and leather ,with hand-carved stag horn buttons, Tyrolean clothing. Suitable for wearing next time we stage a family production of The Sound of Music. In sizes that fit no one. Merry Christmas !

50 Years = 50 Beers

Hubster's 50th birthday bash was a a"family friendly" event, continuing the recent trend of many boomers to incorporate their children into everything they do. That, and no one can find good baby-sitters these days. Keep it clean, guys ! Little ears are listening !

In the game room, the party was quite a lively affair, while in other parts of the house, it as a bit more staid, with varied conversations. Something for everyone.....

As the evening wore on, the hilarity increased.....is there anything as funny as watching a bunch of old guys who still think they are young ?

This photo sums up nicely the family dynamic that is hubster's...here , his parents, who invited themselves, reveal typical responses to the often over parodied, "what do you bring to the party?" Hubster's dad spent the evening flirting and chatting and mixing with folk; hubster's mom took it upon herself to run a load of laundry in the middle of events. (It must be noted that the washer and dryer are unfortunately located in the middle of a narrow passageway that connects all these rooms.)

Dreaming of a White Christmas

Snow is such a rarity in north Texas....and a White Christmas has never officially been documented since records started being kept in the late 1800's - until now. 2009 draws to a close with two, yes two ! Texas snowfalls in the month of December, one the very first week of the month, and the most recent one falling on Christmas Eve. It was such an unusual, exciting event, people felt they just had to get out and dance in it !
The snow started falling in the morning, but did not stick to anything for hours, because it had been sunny and in the 70's the day before. That's Texas weather for you. By mid-afternoon the ground temps had cooled enough that the snow, still falling (and not, I must add, our normal ice pellets which pass for snow around here, either, but real fluffy flakes of it) finally began to accumulate. Frantic last-minute Christmas shoppers attacked the mall in a frenzy. Traffic all over the DFW metroplex slowed to a snarl as highway overpasses began to slick over. (Sand trucks ? Snow plows? No one knows what those things are around here; we are the only people we know who even own a snow shovel- and we brought it with us from Va. They don't sell those things south of the Mason-Dixon line.) Fortunately hubster, who had just returned from visiting relatives during the Great East Coast Blizzard of '09, managed to fly in before the Texas snowstorm hit, and just narrowly avoiding being stranded on a plane or in an airport somewhere else and missing Christmas.
It was an unusual, welcome, beautiful Christmas present. Many churches started canceling their Christmas eve services, worried about folk driving in the weather as the sun went down and road conditions grew worse. Our little family carried on, easily making it to church but by the time the service was over, the drifts made it impossible to see where the road ended and the curbs began. We made it home safely, just in time for our family feast. My sons are getting to that age where they'd rather play video games than slide down the hill in the nearby park on giant pieces of cardboard ( what passes for sleds around these parts), and that saddens me, a little.

Multi Cultural Weekend

One of the most anticipated social events of my year is the annual meeting of local Buddhists each November. This gala celebration, which coincides with founder Dawa's (owner of local store "Juliet's Jewels") birthday, always involves a visit by the "Jolly Lama" (Lama Dudjam Dorjee) and a wonderfully gourmet vegetarian potluck lunch. The crowd that turns up at this event is eclectic - various Asian nationals for whom Buddhism is a native faith, as well as a fair number of college kids, swingers, Unitarians, ex-hippies, curious, seekers, fruits, and weirdos. I am not sure which category of these I fit into...but the hi-lite this year, in addition to the Lama's speech (sort of like a church sermon, only far less annoying and more thoughtful) was some old geezer walking up to my gf "C" and I , and trying to pick us up. Now, GFT is a middle aged mom, far past her prime, who most days is about as noticed by most men as the wallpaper of your grandmother's house. My gf C is an attractive female who is several years older than GFT. We had spent the entire morning trying to set up C's friend D, a recent widow, with various men at this event, with no success. The mere fact that anyone would try to pick me up - and to this day C and I will argue about which of us, exactly, the guy was hitting on - we agreed to settle the argument with the decision that he thought we were a swingin' duo, a pair of chicks who would be willing and interested in forming a threesome with him - was hilarious. Never mind the fact that C's long-suffering husband, aka "Saint", was sitting next to us, talking to some random other metrosexual man. We figured the guy hitting on us assumed Saint was gay, and we're sticking to that assumption. No matter the truth of the situation, this event perked us up so much, we've been riding the natural high that followed for weeks now.
By a strange celestial coincidence, it happened that this year the weekend of the Buddhist fest was also the same one that the Indian Student Association at UNT decided to celebrate Diwali (a major holiday in the Hindu faith, somewhat analogous to Christmas.). So I got to have an all Indian multi-cultural weekend, and I loved it! The Diwali fest at UNT is a 5-7 hour long talent show, full of students in traditional costumes dancing and singing karaoke to Indian pop music. At the end of all this comes a dinner, which is always wonderful. The first year hubster and I attended, neophytes that we were, we went to the talent show portion ( agonizing hours spent listening to our student guides promising us "just one more - you must listen/see to this one!" before we could even sneak out to use the restroom) . Now that we are more savvy, we skip the talent show and just show up for the food. It is a large group and well attended- the food is always catered by a DFW area restaurant deemed "authentic" by the ISA. We had a great time visiting with friends and colleagues.....and the gastro-intestinal fallout of eating food that was spicier by several factors than what I typically eat, lasted for days.

happy saint patRICK'S DAY !

Saint Patrick's Day is The National Holiday O' Rick, aka the hubster.
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I wasn't born an Irishman, but I married one as soon as I could........Even in this little outpost of civilization on the prairie, we prepare for weeks, sometimes months, to celebrate this day in a properly festive manner. A schedule must be followed for this day, and each activity has its own special part. You see, I married an Irishman......and this day may be one of the most important in his entire yearly calendar. In the early years of marriage, celebrating this day was all quite foreign to me, (GFT claims Germany and England as her ancestor's homelands, with a touch of France and Native American thrown in for spice), and I often jumbled up what was required of me to do. However, with the passage of time, I have embraced hubster's traditions, and now see myself as a special envoy of Irishness wherever I go. *
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The first step, naturally, is to wear green all day. I remember as a little child not getting this one right some years, it was all quite random to me, and I probably forgot completely about it or else didn't even own green clothing, and there was always some annoying kid at school who would pinch me repeatedly (I mean, come on ! Isn't once enough ? Doesn't that "count" ? What's up with this every 5 seconds crap ? ) because I had nothing green on. (I always tried to say I was wearing green underwear, but that kid wasn't buying it. Did I look like the kind of kid who even owned green underwear ? I don't think so.) Holidays in my spartan Presbyterian childhood were rarely celebrated at all...some years, my mom even found cooking for Christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving dinners to be too much of a pain; she was always busy ironing ( just what, I am not certain, as she strongly disliked either entertaining or going out - so just what was it that she wanted to get the wrinkles out of ? curtains?) and we simply foraged for ourselves in the pantry, eating leftovers or soup or whatever was handy. So the entire concept of wearing a special ensemble just for this day was completely foreign to me.
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Now, of course, this is not the case. I have an entire wardrobe of green items - heavy long sleeve sweatshirts, sweaters, turtlenecks and coats from when we lived in the northeast ...... lightweight t-shirts for this semi-tropical paradise we now call home. Green socks, hats, suspenders, and various accessories such as pins, blinking shamrock necklaces, silly leprechaun hats, buttons that say "Kiss Me I'm Irish", or "Let's Play Hide the Leprechaun", green antennae, silly wigs, giant bow ties, etc. Wearing a green shirt on St Paddy's Day is quite an art . You have to find something as close to Kelly green as you can, yet it still needs to be a shade that looks good on you. Not everyone can wear green. GFT needs a blue-ish hue, as things that are too yellow make me look sallow. Yet one must be careful - teal, forest green, mint, or lime green are really "iffy" choices, and smack of half-hearted attempts.
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All these clothing requirements mean that one must, at some point, shop especially for St Patrick's Day, and this was where the ritual "exchanging O' the gifts" got started. St Patrick's Day merchandise only appears in stores for a brief moment in the retail season - often sandwiched in quickly between Valentine's Day and Easter paraphernalia. Blink twice and it's gone - either all bought up, or consigned to back shelf "clearance" areas. Hubster is a difficult enough person to shop for, as it is. He doesn't collect golf clubs, rare editions, or sports cars. Most things he wants, such as CDs or sporting goods equipment, he buys for himself whenever the whim strikes him. So it's handy to have a theme he collects , and this is a ready made opportunity. For hubster , you see, has turned our game room into "Rick's Irish Pub", (he was inspired when we bought this house, for this room has carpeting almost exactly the same as the carpeting found in our old college hangout, aka Willy's Pub....lord knows how much time we all spent looking at that nasty carpet, the pattern is forever indelibly ingrained on our subconsciouses -it's a 60's style pattern in green and gold and matches the pool table, et al), and hubster never ceases to fill it with both beer-themed art and Irish memorabilia. It is a classic bastion of male tasteless fantasy. I advise any wife to allow her husband just such a room in the house, for then all that decorative "art" that he brings home from gas stations, dumpster diving, Spencer's Gifts and garage sales can then be gathered into this one safe space. To further this incredible collection hubster has, I often shop for St Paddy's Day themed items, such as beer mugs, Guinness posters, Irish nick-knacks, leprechaun dolls , you name it, he's got it - and give them to him . It makes him happy, and makes up for the sometimes difficult task of finding something he wants for XMAS or his birthday.
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It goes without saying that you can't spend St Paddy's Day without listening to Irish music. In the early years, we often took in a parade or two, depending on where we lived and if there was a good one nearby. These often happen on the Saturday before the actual day, and so barely count as part of the celebration. Parades and the obligatory bar-hopping are just not enough to sate the musical requirements of the man. Hubster absolutely MUST listen to "The Unicorn Song" at least 3 or 4 times throughout the day, once an hour would be better, or he doesn't feel as if he's experienced the true "Irishman in a bar" moment. He does have several CD mixes he has put together over the years, modern Celtic bands mixed with traditional stuff, which he floats through the massive sound system that not only connects every room in our home, but wafts out into the backyard, as well. I'm sure the neighbors appreciate it. This mix plays in our home all day long, for HOURS without any one song repeating.
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The day culminates with an evening spent in the closest thing we can find to an Irish type pub, depending on where we live at any given moment. In the early years, I tried to get into the spirit of the day and cook an Irish meal, but after a few valiant attempts, hubster admitted that he really doesn't care for traditional Irish foods. So much for that one. Now we simply go out, eat whatever bar food strikes our fancy, and raise a glass to Saint Patrick. It is a tradition I keep wherever I am ; for example, last year I found myself in Paris on St Paddy's. Fortunately, there are some wonderfully authentic Irish bars in Paris, so my companions and I managed to celebrate appropriately, even in the land of Frenchmen. I have in fact celebrated March 17 all over the world, and sampled some of the great traditions of cities with vibrant Irish populations such as New York, Boston, San Francisco . It must be noted that drinking green beer does not count as authentic if it is lite beer. Guinness, as the ads used to say, "is good for you", and a much stouter choice. 'Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!'Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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Check out my fave north Texas Irish Celtic band, the Killdares
http://www.killdares.com/



*The envoy part : Today it just so happened that I was at the dentist's for my six month teeth cleaning. Now, my dentist is a very kind man, and a wonderful dentist. He is, however, a member of one of those large fundamentalist faiths which treat Denton as "ground zero" in their plan to evangelize the hordes of impressionable college students that fill this town. As I walked into his office and climbed into the chair, he said to me, "I see you are wearing green. I admit I've never really understood what all the fuss is about. What is the big celebration for ? Who is Saint Patrick ? Why is he associated with Ireland ? Why is he so important ? What do shamrocks and leprechauns and all that other stuff have to do with it ? " Well, it just so happens that GFT knew all the answers, having read Thomas Cahill's How the Irish Saved Civilization and taught in a parochial school. I know all about saints' days and who the various saints are, what they are associated with, the history of Christianity, and why the ecclesiastical year is divided up the way it is. (I am also a student of world mythology, and know a fair amount of Celtic traditions as well. ) What is amazing to me is that other purportedly Christian faiths.......don't.

History of Saint Patrick's Day
http://www.history.com/minisites/stpatricksday/

The Man Tent

Every year around this time, GFT cannot help but chuckle to herself as "the man tent" appears at the local Kroger grocery store parking lot. Millions of similar structures suddenly arise all across America. You could say they suddenly pop up, pressing against the seams of society, as the proximity to that great romantic holiday, Valentine' s Day, approaches. The man tent, you see, is erected, (please excuse me the occasional pun, the possibilities here are just too good to let pass ) as it were, for all those hapless chaps who know they need to purchase a Valentine's Day gift for their beloved, but just can't bring themselves to step inside an actual store and purchase one. GFT knows that shopping is something most men abhor, and her own hubster, true to fashion, would rather have his nails pulled out than visit the local mall. Hence the growth of the man tent, a brilliant marketing ploy.

The man tent was the invention of a brilliant marketing manager somewhere along the way, a man no doubt, who observed that it is obviously too difficult a task for men to actually park the car and go into a store to buy the usual requisite flowers, candy, cards, cheesy stuffed animals, etc. By coming up with the idea of placing a large tent in the parking lot, men could be assured that their maniless was not challenged in any way, as they go about their twice or thrice yearly(Christmas ? birthdays ? ) ritual acts of shopping for the woman in their lives. Furthermore, by driving up to the tent, leaving the car idling with the door ajar and the keys in the ignition, men get the thrill of not having to deal with the lines of random other customers slowing a man down, clogging up the register lanes with their silly purchases of milk,cigarettes and groceries. The men on a mission for VD gifts must complete his mission with a minimum of fuss and time. To spend any longer than absolutely necessary would drastically increase the embarrassment quotient of said men, and that we just can't have.

It has taken the hubster only 15 years to learn that it is far easier to please the ole' ball and chain on VD than to spite her. The good will incurred by Doing The Right Thing lasts for months......the fury incurred by not doing the right thing, lasts......FOREVER. GFT has only a few simple requirements, all quickly and easily satisfied by the clever man with a credit card : dinner out at a nice restaurant, flowers, candy ( drugstore brands won't suffice) and a gift. A nice gift. Really, was that so hard ?

Winter Road Trips # 2 Clifton

Old Lutheran Church in Bosque County

Movie theater in Clifton, Texas

Those who live in more northern climes may not truly appreciate the winter road trip. Sure, in Texas we have periodic "northers" - storms with sleet, ice and miserable weather, (rarely snow)but in between those storms we have long periods of warm, mild, sunny weather. Daytime temps are often in the 60's or 70's, and lately (due to global warming ?) even in the 80's. I have always said that winter in Texas is like summer in Vermont, and so this is a particularly great time to take a little road trip. (In fact, I tend to avoid summer road trips all together - too many tourists, too hot, too miserable.)

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One of the places I find myself driving to repeatedly is Clifton, Tx. (My father-long story-ended up in a nursing home there. I visit him several times a year. It is a clean cheerful nurturing place, and they take good care of him. He is lucky to have stumbled across it.) Clifton is pretty much in the middle of no where, or as the highway sign euphemistically says, "At the northern tip of the Texas Hill Country". From the Dallas Ft Worth area, this means you head south on I-35, through Ft Worth, and turn right (west) at Hillsboro on HW22. You keep heading west, past the Lake Whitney Dam, (an area with some of the loveliest bluebonnet patches this side of Austin come springtime), and turn south just before Meridien. The whole trip takes me about 2 and 1/2 hours, each way - but I have a tendency to drive pretty fast.

Rolling Texas countryside on road to Clifton

The drive to Clifton is full of what we in Texas refer to as full of rolling hills - "hill" being a relative concept, if you are from Colorado or Switzerland. There are some actual smallish cliffs that the town is named after, just outside of town. The area was settled by German farmers, and is dotted with quaint little churches with old world style steeples. In the spring time, these roads are full of folks searching for bluebonnets, and the side of the road is often lined with parked cars as people feel free to just pull over anywhere, and get out and tromp through folks' private property, snapping photos of their kids and pets sitting in the bright blue flowers. Summer time brings with it people pulling boats to and from Lake Whitney on the weekends. Which is why I enjoy making this trip in winter: it is quiet, calm, pleasant. Far from any radio station, I tune into Sirius radio or load up the CD player ( my sons, trapped into joining me for this familial duty) of course are "plugged into the matrix" of their I-PODS.

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There isn't a whole lot to see or do en route to Clifton- there is an outlet mall in Hillsboro, as well as a junior college which is locally famous for hosting a Civil War historical conference each spring. (Not reinactors, like that famous scene in "Sweet Home Alabama" - just professors and authors presenting papers or discussing their books . My mom, whose hobby is genealogy and the history of her family, often attends.) Neither of these activities tempts me to stay longer. Road trips like this give me plenty of time to get caught up on all my thinking. My mom, when I drag her around with me, is ever on the lookout for places that sell ice cream, be it the local Dairy Queen, or some mom and pop type independant place. Nothing really exciting awaits us on this journey; I do it for familial reasons, and enjoying the scenery is enough for me. My children have learned to imitate grammy's speech patterns perfectly, as every day around 3 pm she will say, (thick Texas accent), "Isn't it about time for some ice cream ?" They have learned to parrot this, too, and that's usually what it takes to bribe them into joining me on this journey.

Lake Whitney

The trip this year was made more pleasant by the fact that son # 1 is now old enough to drive, and still in that excitable phase where he actually wants to drive as much as possible. So I let him drive all the way there - major highway, country roads and all. He did a pretty good job. I enjoyed being able to relax - a little. I drove us all home ; it was getting dark, after all. Didn't want any unfortunate altercations with a deer on the road that might involve swerving suddenly. As a reward for good behavior, hubster met us all at our fave Tex-Mex restaurant in downtown Dallas for dinner, when we were almost back home. That's what spells "holidays" for me in so many ways : Tex-Mex and road trips.

Things I Am Thankful For

"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one...just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, Ch. 1
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Nick, the narrator of Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby, is given this advice by his father, and I think it is good advice for many of us to follow. You may recall that Nick is the sort of moral compass in that story, it is against his solid mid-western values that the various characters play out their little dramas; he is the judge of their performances, actions and motivations,and finds many of his friends and family lacking in their ethics.
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GFT is acutely aware that, in spite of some periods of stress and upheaval, she has had an overall marvelously charmed life. Every day I see students and children who wonder if there will be dinner on the table that night, who have no parents, or parents who mistreat them, or are unable to care for them as much as they would like, or are homeless, or suffer from unimaginable problems that make anything I have ever had to live through seem absolutely mild in comparison. I am reminded on an almost daily basis that "the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy mixed up world of ours", (Rick to Ilsa in "Casablanca"), and so on Thanksgiving, and most other days as well, I am extremely thankful for many things.
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(In no particular order)
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I am thankful that I have two beautiful, healthy, bright, handsome children. I spent years trying to get pregnant - had 5 surgeries to correct endometriosis and other gynecological issues, and went through 2 nightmarish pregnancies ( the 1st due to an abusive first husband, the 2nd due to health problems related to the pregnancy itself ; 2nd husband was very nurturing and helpful in that pregnancy). I had my kids relatively late in life, and for the longest time I never thought , as the years waned on, that I'd ever get pregnant or have a child of my own , at all. So I am always counting my blessings , every time I think of my kids - even when I am yelling at them for the awful things they did that moment . And I am grateful they are healthy, and hearty, and full of spunk and mischief. I have taught disabled students for over a decade, and while I care about them, I see how their parents have struggled to raise them as best they could, and what a long hard road their lives have taken.
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I am thankful for husband # 2, the hubster, for while he annoys me greatly a huge percentage of the time, he also makes me laugh, and for that reason alone I think I'll keep him. He is smart enough to never bore me - that is a difficult feat. He has given me a good life, overall; rich in family where I had little, full of holidays at the beach and interesting adventures both home and abroad, as we traverse our lives' journey together. I just wish he could remember to put the toilet seat down and finish the various home repair projects he has started.
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I am thankful that both hubster and I have good jobs, and to have a job that I don't hate.
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I am thankful that I live in a charming, pleasant, relatively stress-free, low-cost area of the country.
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I am thankful for books and newspapers,especially, that feed my mind and inform me of so many countless things.
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I am thankful for good weather -when I experience it.
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I am thankful for the many advantages I had as a child : middle to upper middle class upbringing; parents, who although flawed loved me as best they could, gave me all they could, including a first class education and many cultural opportunities, enough family money to ease some of life's troubles yet not so much as to make me jaded or careless with it.
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I am thankful for the Impressionsist and Renaissance artists, scultors, and painters.
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I am thankful for all my friends and family, without whom life would not be worth living.
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I am thankful my children do not have ADHD.
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I am thankful, every day, but am reminded of it more strongly when I travel abroad, that I live in a country where I can : vote freely ; voice my opinion without fear of reprisal, live /travel/go where I want; wear, shop, eat, hang out with whoever or whatever I want - what Norman Rockwell illustrated in his series of paintings, " the 4 freedoms",one of which is pictured above.

12 Days of Christmas

We are approaching my biggest "hate season" of the year.............the week before the kids get out of school for the holidays.

I absolutely positively LOATHE this time of year.

Ten million phone calls, all while I am trying to eat dinner ( yes, I don't pick up................but I still have to return them, later) . Dozens of notes home from the kids' school, all on separate crumpled pieces of paper that I have to fish out of their backpacks, line up, and make a list to do all the things I am supposed to make / buy/ cook/ bring/ pay for. Four or five stupid meaningless activities each day - either at my work, hubster's work, or the kids' school, or via our extra-curricular activities, that purportedly address "family togetherness" and "the real meaning of Christmas", and all of which require ME- the mom- to go to a store, a different one each time, stand in a long line and deal with rude people in the parking lot and buy some useless crappy ugly item, always a specific one .

Son #1 needs a brown turtleneck for the school play, ( not black, not white - BROWN. Searchd every where, they don't make them in kids sizes. Had to order women's small from LL Bean. ) Son #2 needs red grapes for a class party, (when we first moved here, difficult to find in this small town, in the middle of the country, in Dec) , hubby has a work related party for which we are trading ornaments of the world, I am forced to join the "Secret Santa" gift giving for a total stranger at work. Bah humbug ! All of these purportedly "family " activities actually TAKE me away from my family ! Here's the thing: I don't begrudge the folk who want to do this stuff. My personal friends at work and I do exchange small gifts. What I dislike is being forced into doing this, for a total stranger, all in the name of "community spirit". When you start to total up the sums of money - for my work, husband's work, school "Secret Santa's" for the kids.....it starts to add up to a lot of money. For people I don't know. For crappy gifts no one wants. Don't get me started on the "Please donate $10 or $20 to this cause.....that cause....the other cause".....at my work, hubster's work, the kids x2......it's not that I don't want to help others. I just want to choose the causes that are important to my own belief system.

On Tues of this week I cancelled everything (piano lessons, karate lessons, football practice, ceramics class, cub scouts) and just stayed home and snuggled and talked to my kids and read books. That's how I want to spend my family time. So to cope with all my stress, I wrote a song :

Only 12 days till Christmas, and a message left for me
Said , could you bring a dozen cookies ?
They're needed for the school party.

Only 11 days till Christmas, and a note came home to me:
We need 11 dollars for the teacher's "angle" tree.

Only 10 days till Christmas, and my husband said to me
Please buy 10 books of stamps and mail gifts to my family.

Only 9 days till Christmas and I got a note at work that read
We need 9 more faculty to "volunteer" for our holiday spread.

Only 8 days till Christmas and my checkbook had to say :
Only 8 dollars left to plan your holiday !

Only 7 days till Christmas and a UPS man left for me :
Seven giant boxes to drag inside and put under the tree.

Only 6 days till Christmas and a message came to me
Please donate 6 serving platters for the teacher's appreciation tea.

Only 5 days till Christmas , my "to do " list says to me :
Finish shopping now !

Only 4 days till Christmas and my son came home and said
Mom I need 4 books to swap - ones I haven't read .

Only 3 days till Christmas and a phone call said to me
Please bring some cheese cubes to your son's school party !

Only 2 days till Christmas and I got a note that said
Please bring two loaves of your special bread.

Only 1 day till Christmas and I hear my phone start to ring
So I threw it out and haven't done a thing !