No More Worlds Left to Conquer

At my end-of-the-year teacher review conference this year, my administrator asked me what new classes/ certifications I was going to pursue this summer. (Thinking to myself, "Hell, none, I'm just skiving for the next 18 months till I can retire.") I said, "Well, this is my 30th year of teaching English. Not to be arrogant, but I am the only member of my entire department who has a master's degree. I am also the only member of my dept. who is certified in sp ed, autism, reading, gifted and talented, library science, and history/ soc stud. I am the only one who has been a dept chair, a testing coordinator, an admin for sp ed, and has taught every grade level both on level, remedial, and advanced/ AP/honors. I have been to every single teacher training "in-service" offered by every school I have ever taught at, as well as the Texas Humanities Institute, the AP Institute, TWU, UNT, SMU, not to mention the state of Maryland MANCEF. I have passed the teacher certification exams in Ca, Ny, Va, Md, and Tx. A few years back, I went back to graduate school and earned a second master's, in literature. There really is nothing left for me to study, as pertains to my job assignment, unless you want me to start working towards math or science." He looked at me like I am a trouble maker and says, "Well, you have to put something down. You have to fill the box on the form." So I wrote down some b.s. about continuing my education and training. What do all the teachers put in that box who have never accomplished any of these things? I forgot, momentarily, that we were supposed to lie about that stuff. No one ever follows up the next year to see if you did it. I think next year I’ll write some elaborate b.s. about going back to college to finish my PhD in aerospace engineering or neurology, just to see if anyone actually reads it. 

And Alexander wept, bc there were no more worlds left to conquer.