What Would Jesus Wear?

I write to you as a field reporter observing the local customs, much as I would if I were visiting Borneo, Oaxaca or Papua New Guinea, and reporting back on what the natives there were wearing. Even though I am a sixth generation Texan, born and bred, and my parents hail from small Texas towns, I never knew anyone who dressed like this growing up. This is how the "Bible belt" has changed since I was a kid.

I am not sure if all the crosses people are wearing these days are a true sign of their religious feeling, or merely a fashion fad. No, the question that burns in my brain until the wee hours is this: where do they buy this stuff? I shop at local stores and never see any of it for sale.

Perhaps they buy it at the gift shop in their evangelical mega churches, or like the Tupperware parties of old, in small home-based selling circles. It is apparently de rigeur to have a smug, superior look on one's face while wearing it, as if secretly thinking to oneself, "that'll show 'em," or, "I stand for J-E-S-U-S."

A friend and I accidentally stumbled into the "wrong" nail salon one day - not the typical sort of place - and nearly all the customers were sporting the ginormous leopard print- rhinestone-sequins-crosses-feathers handbag. I was worried for a moment about being tarred and feathered and rode out of town. Did I miss the memo? Weren't nuns wearing habits, you know, back in the day, because they gave up all their worldly possessions and served the lord with humility and grace?

I tell you what I do know.....I know that Jesus probably never in a million years imagined the cross that believers feel he died on would be snuggling up to the inside of some girl's butt.

Is that respectful to Jesus?